By Matthew Yglesias
I’ve recently returned to these United States from a pretty lavish junket to Switzerland, courtesy of the America-Swiss Foundation and, in effect, various Switzerland-based multinationals. The most delicious of said multinationals is, of course, Nestle maker of fine chocolate products, pet food, and more varieties of bottled water than there are stars in the sky. And also, as it turned out during the presentation two of their executives gave us, Hot Pockets.
When the presentation was done, we were ushered out of Nestle’s mini-auditorium and into a different area where, it being lunchtime, we were served a delectable array of snacks and mini-sandwiches and invited to mingle. I found myself, along with another American journalist, chatting with a Nestle executive. My comrade made the joke I’d been too timid to make, and complemented the exec on the food before adding, “I was afraid you guys were going to sevre us Hot Pockets.” The executive, a Spaniard by birth, broke out a nice grin that transformed into a chuckle, saying “we sell theees product primarily in the United States.” Get it? You’re gross, America! So keep in mind that every time you microwave up a Hot Pocket, a small slice of your income is going to a European businessman who’s laughing at you.
One hopes a certain Flophouse-based IFAer takes this post to heart.
Meanwhile, I suppose Nestle Crunch, Pixy Stix, Baby Ruth, Chips Ahoy!, SweeTarts, and Nerds are expressions of their high regard for the sophistication of their American friends.
As if, Spencer. The Hot Pocket rapid response team is already on this.
I used to live in a small town in Germany that had a Nestle factory. It smelled nice year round, but especially during the winter, when the snowy mornings had a distinct hint of hot chocolate.
Much better than if they had smelled of chicken, broccoli and cheddar.
The smell of Hot Pocket is not equivalent to the smell of chicken, broccoli, and cheddar. I’m afraid that the Hot Pocket is more than the sum of its parts.
Only poor people and young people in America eat this crap. The poor and young, by necessity and idiocy respectively, always eat garbage. I’m happy to laugh alongside European businessmen on this one (even if, in my young man’s sense of invulnerability, I decide to sneak in a fast food taco).
I live in Switzerland and Nestle is one of my main clients (which site were you at, the one in Vevey?) I can tell you, anecdotally, that my local supermarket sells Hot Pockets (I’m a fan for a quick lunch) and they definitely don’t just sit on the shelves waiting for us dirty Americans to come gobble them up. I know for fact that these high-minded Swiss take part in the Hot Pocket experience, because the shelves are always 1/2 full and different flavors are available different days.
They just like to make fun of us, it’s kinda like picking on your kid brother. You love him to death, but take pleasure in mocking his immaturity.
That’s why I always buy Lean Pockets
The picture on the package should win some sort of prize for bad Photoshopping.
Yeah, I was in Vevey.
Nice campus, right on the lake…. although probably a bit chilly this time of year.
Wow. Seriously, this makes me want to reconsider my consumption of Lean Pockets.
thankfully these are limited in England
Hot Pockets FTW!
Now I just need to score me that 2L of Mountain Dew to wash them down!!
USA! USA! USA!
I don’t eat Hot Pockets because the name sounds like something a dirty old man does in his raincoat.
Ok, so this might seem out of context, but being a (medically-ordered) “Gluten-Free” person, I could not (morally could not) eat a Hot Pocket if I had one.
But I gotta confess that I sure do wish they could make such things without Gluten.
Drink any infant formula?
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warm bread, gooey cheese, meat product. 2 minutes in the microwave.
What is not to like (and let’s leave health and nutrition out of it).
I’d prefer a chef to bring me a steak, asparagus, and a nice bottle of wine, or perhaps fancy hours d’overs, like that at a conference with a Nestle exec. But when alone and in a hurry, the HP will do.
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Comic Jim Gaffigan, whose signature routine spoofs Hot Pockets to hilarious effect, is probably all over this…recall his “directions” from the vegetarian Hot Pockets, followed by his trademark sotto voce falsetto Peanut Gallery on the jingle:
“Take out of box. Place directly in toilet. ♫ Flush Pockets…♫
Here is the YouTube for Gaffigan on Hot Pockets:
Here is the YouTube for Gaffigan on Hot Pockets:
youtube.com/watch?v=J9c9lAfXQHs